The Heart Attack Grill Claims Real Victim

The Heart Attack Grill Claims Real Victim
Triple By-Pass burger...Mmm

The Heart Attack Grill can honestly say it lives up to its name.

The notorious fast food burger chain that has a hospital theme, where scantily-clad servers dress up as nurses and cloak you in a hospital gown before taking your order, made headlines this past week when an obese 40-something customer had a real heart attack while chomping on the restaurant’s signature ‘Triple By-Pass Burger.’

The unnamed customer was shown on TV being wheeled out of the Las Vegas restaurant by emergency responders, who, to their credit, kept a straight face as they administered emergency treatment in front of other horrified customers before whisking the stricken man to emergency.

Can you imagine the 911 call and the reaction of the ambulance drivers?…”Ah, this is the Heart Attack Grill. We have an obese male who just finished a Triple By-Pass Burger and appears to be suffering a heart attack!”

The restaurant’s manager, who wears a doctor’s uniform complete with a stethoscope, was apparently unable to administer adequate medical attention to the distressed patron, necessitating the emergency 911 call.

All light-heartedness aside, the man was treated at a local hospital and is said to be resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery. The hospital declined to say whether or not the patient required a by-pass procedure as part of his treatment.

FREE FOR FAT, NOT FAT-FREE

It is unknown if the man actually paid to have his heart attack because the restaurant pays homage to people who weight more than 350 pounds. These people eat for free.

Restaurant chain owner John Basso appeared solemn following the incident and told reporters that the restaurant makes it clear to patrons that the food at the Heart Attack Grill is “dangerous” and “unhealthy,” but plans no changes to the menu.

The restaurant serves snack-sized single burgers all the way up to Quadruple By-Pass burgers, French fries cooked in lard and fatty buttermilk shakes, among other artery-clogging delicacies.

The near fatal heart attack comes almost a year after The Heart Attack Grill lost its 575-pound spokesman Blair Rivers. He died at age 29 due to complications from pneumonia.

Ironically, Rivers was filling in for the original corporate spokesman, Ernie Hart. The morbidly obese staffer had to take a leave when it was discovered that he needed emergency heart surgery. After the Rivers tragedy, Ernie Hart had recovered, put the weight back on from all that free fatty food, and has resumed his duties as official spokesman for the fast-growing burger chain.

The Heart Attack Grill, which opened its first eatery in Scottsdale, Arizona, plans to offer its famous By-Pass burgers and free heart attacks all across America.